‘Women would fancy me more if I had no face’ – there really are some amazing headlines out there if you keep an eye out for them. And incidentally, keeping your eye out is a good first step towards having no face – all you need to do now is carefully remove the rest. Brace yourself for some female attention.
'71 year-old avoids jail over horse sex' – the crafty old twat.
Speaking of twats: http://www.flickr.com/photos/26267177@N07/2475887551/ could this be a political conspiracy like never seen before? You heard it here first.
Also, in the not-too-distant future I reckon it will be possible to download a Twix. It would just materialise somehow in a little tray next to your computer. This would then mean that you could illegally download a Twix, and if anything the associated guilt would only add to the already blissful partnership of biscuit and caramel. Just a thought.
Lastly, carrying on from last week’s cereal theme, it seems that the writing on the back of cereal packets can be an unlikely source of inspiration for some compelling poetic verse…
Weetabix Minis
Minis with chocolate:
A delicious combination;
Tasty whole wheat biscuits,
And wholegrain nutrition
With dark chocolate chips
It’s a taste sensation
Sitting in a bowl
With milk for lubrication
Contains carbohydrates
Your morning preparation
And vitamins for energy
To help your concentration
High in fibre naturally
Relieving constipation
Raise the spoon to your mouth
No need for hesitation
Nestled deep within
Our rural English nation
Since 1932
With lasting dedication
Luscious breakfast cereal
And it’s passionate creation
For Weetabix workers
Is there preoccupation
Who would have thought it?
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